The Best Part Of Me Was Always You
by watchingstarsdie
Summary: "That's ridiculous. Blaine? Drugs? He would never do that! That's absurd. He's Mister Perfect. He's Mister I-Don't-Do-Stupid-Things." Post 04x04/05
1. Chapter 1

"_It's up to you and it's up to me. How we'll meet in the middle on how we'll meet our way back down to earth."_

* * *

His phone buzzed to life as a familiar number flashed on his screen.

"Kurt!"

"Tina?" He was surprised to hear from her. "Hi! How's it been?"

"Good. Everything's good." She said hesitating before adding, "It's Blaine-"

"Oh god," Rolling his eyes. He can't believe that Blaine would involve their other friends in this. "Is this an intervention of some sort. Does he have you tricked with his puppy dog eyes to convince me to speak to him. Am I about to receive a wave of phone calls telling me to give him a chan—"

"No, listen." Tina cut him off. "We're really worried about him. He hasn't been himself and none of us can get through to him. I'm scared that he might do something stupid or reckless. He might hurt himself."

"In New York remember?" He snapped. The idea that Blaine was moping around, being all sad and pathetic that others are starting to worry, when it was his fault they were in this mess, was getting on his nerves. "What am I suppose to do?"

"Can you talk to him? Please? I'm really scared that he-"

"Talk to him?"Kurt chuckled at the notion, when he spent a good part of the past weeks actively ignoring him and denying his existence. "Tina, he _cheated_ on me."

"I know. I know." Tina said with a bit of desperation. "He doesn't bother with drowning his hair in gel. He hasn't been attending Glee club rehearsals or school for all I know. When we see him outside school, I don't like the people he's with. And..."

"What is it?" Kurt couldn't help the curiosity in his voice, peaked with Tina's desperate tone and, he'd deny it if asked, his own concern for Blaine.

"Nothing. It's probably just... nothing." Kurt could imagine the girl trying to convince herself that it was really of no consequence but his head is already filled with the worst-case scenarios.

"Tina!" He said, the demand to tell him whatever it was went unsaid.

"We're not totally sure and there's no proof... but we think he's doing drugs." Tina said the last words in a hurried mumble as if afraid to even give voice to that idea.

"That's ridiculous." Kurt couldn't help the laugh that escaped out of him. "Blaine? Drugs? He would never do that! That's absurd. He's Mister Perfect. He's Mister I-Don't-Do-Stupid-Things. He's-"

"Hurt and lost, Kurt." Tina said genuinely sad. "Will you? Talk to him?"

"He cheated on me." He said, annoyed at Tina's tone. As if this was Kurt's fault that Blaine was acting this way. "I'm the one who's hurting. I'm the one who got their heart broken. He bought this on himself."

Kurt heard her give a sigh of understanding, "I'm not saying that you forgive him or that you get back together. All I'm saying is that... He needs you, more than he has ever needed you before."

Tina's words were plaintive enough to destroy whatever shred of resolve to continue ignoring Blaine that he had started to build the moment Blaine's name as brought up.

They were silent for a few heartbeats, nothing but their breathing and background noise.

"I..." Kurt started.

"Dress rehearsal for Grease is about to start. Take care, Kurt. I gotta go, bye!" She hastily ended the phone call and the line went dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all those who reviewed and hit this story up. I was worried that it was a bit too OOC especially the part where Blaine is taking drugs. Forgive my tenses and any grammatical errors. No beta. Hope you enjoy! I would love to hear what you think.**

* * *

"_You're my living proof, my love is alive and not dead."_

* * *

He was sitting on his bed for nearly 6 hours, not daring to move, afraid that he might fall apart if he does. His eyes are constantly fixed on the carpeted floor, afraid to let it wander in the room that held so much memories, but once in a while his eyes would cast a furtive glance to his desk. The digital clock showed it was 14 minutes past 2 in the morning.

Kurt felt his presence before he heard it.

"Kurt?" Blaine called out. He slurred Kurt's name probably from a combination of disbelief and of the alcohol he had been drinking judging from the smell of him.

Kurt looked at Blaine for the first time since New York, genuinely looked at him. It was immediately apparent that he lost some weight. His eyes were bloodshot with dark rings under them. His hair was lacking its usual amount of hair gel so it stuck up in some places. His shoulders were slouched, lacking the usual air of 'Blaine Anderson'. He was dressed in a plain grey V-neck shirt and jeans. The broken look in Blaine's face mixed in with everything else snapped Kurt's intention of indoor-voices and diplomacy.

"What the hell have you been doing?" Kurt shouted at him. He could barely fight back the tears that immediately pooled in his eyes. "How dare you! How dare you do... this?" Gesturing at him.

"What?" Blaine asked in a mumble. He still couldn't believe that this wasn't some drunken hallucination, that Kurt, after nearly 6 weeks of silence, is standing in his room at 2 in the morning.

"Have you seen yourself!" Kurt screamed. He was so mad. So angry at Blaine, at himself, at everything.

"And this." Kurt snatched the plastic bag on top of the desk and waved it in Blaine's face. Desperately wishing for him to deny it. "Drugs, Blaine!"

"Why are you going through my things?" Blaine asked him, his eyes glued on the plastic in Kurt's hand.

"Well it's not exactly going through your things when it's in plain sight. Are you being a complete idiot on purpose? What on earth were you thinking? Were you even thinking?" Kurt yelled. He was past the point of caring if the entire state of Ohio heard him. "You're not even going to try to deny it."

Seeing the truth of Tina's suspicion drove him angry beyond comprehension. Kurt was the one who should be falling apart, not Blaine. Blaine was supposed to be the stronger one. He was Kurt's source of courage. And seeing him like this, beaten and broken, was more than what Kurt could handle.

Blaine eyes met his own. "Why do you even care? You wouldn't answer my calls, my texts, my emails, my messages." His voice now slowly rising to match Kurt's. "I don't understand why you're even here. You've made it pretty clear you want nothing to do with me."

"Of course I care. You're the love of my life." Kurt shouted. Wiping at the errant tears that cascaded down his cheeks. "I'm mad at you but that doesn't mean I stopped caring."

"You've ignored me this past month. Nothing for five entire weeks, so forgive me if somehow I didn't get the idea that you still gave a damn." Blaine said just as loud but the break of his voice took away the over all anger. He sounded as if talking was breaking him but was still desperate to hold it all together.

"So drugs? Really, Blaine?" Kurt said. "Drugs, alcohol, partying. The trifecta."

Blaine moved his gaze to look at the floor. This and his lack of response sent another wave of rage through Kurt. "Or is there more to it? Smoking your way into an early death? Sleeping around like a whore? Going to rob a ba -"

It was too late when he realized what he'd said. Blaine snapped his eyes to meet his. The horrible hurt under the false defiance on Blaine's face was enough to stop Kurt's breath, turning his anger to something close to dread that he'd gone too far.

"Of course. Whore. That's me." The way Blaine's voice broke reminded Kurt of how he sounded that time when he asked him if he liked Chandler. Blaine sounded so small, far smaller than Blaine should ever be. It made Kurt want to reach out to him, to hold him. Kurt wanted to say something, to make him understand but understand what? It was just all too confusing, too painful, too much.

The sound of the door slamming shut made Kurt find it a little bit harder to breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to those who left their lovely reviews and to those who followed. I really appreciate it. And those who added this story to their favorites, you're too kind. A shoutout to bluebelleswede.**

**Again all mistakes are mine and I know the POV is a bit messed up. I'm kinda leaning into Kurt but I also wanna give Blaine's thoughts and so I end up with a failed attempt at 3****rd**** person POV. Oh, I forgot to state the disclaimer for the past two chapters soooo... Glee is not mine if it was you'd know.**

**********Enjoy! Reviews are very much appreciated. :)**

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"_And what it takes I don't care we're gonna make it I swear."_

* * *

Blaine saw Kurt before he saw him. He couldn't help the groan that escaped out of him. Kurt wove through the customers getting their morning coffee at The Lima Bean.

"Please no screaming" Blaine said dropping his head on the table. "I have a pounding headache and indoor voices are greatly appreciated."

"I wasn't planning on screaming." Kurt sniffed. "And it's your own fault you're hungover."

Kurt started to drum fingers in the table looking around the cafe. He couldn't help the montage of memories that played through his head. Early mornings and after school coffee. Blaine's random 'I love you.' Staring contests over scones. Valentine's day.

"Thank you for not screaming."

If Kurt tried really hard, he could pretend that things were normal. He was just coming home for a visit and he and Blaine are out for coffee. The hurt, the anger, the confusion, every painful thing between them doesn't exist. There's just the two of them. It felt nice.

"Please, stop." Blaine groaned, reaching out to cover Kurt's hand with his. It stopped not only his fingers but also his breath and with it came the brute force of reality. The events of the past weeks and last night all coming to the surface.

"Blaine, I'm sor-"

Blaine's hand stiffened on top of Kurt's. It was clear that he didn't want to have a repeat of last night. If they wanted to salvage whatever was left of their relationship, they would have to retrace every bad feeling between them. It wasn't going to be easy, they both knew that and there is that small voice in their heads wondering if it would be even worth it.

Kurt looked at Blaine's hand on top of his. It felt warm and familiar. It reminded Kurt of what was at stake, of what exactly they are fighting for, what they are trying to fix. And if this, right here, would be a stolen moment from the past then their problems could wait for a little while.

"I'm so sick of that hideous poster that they think qualifies as art. I mean come on people."

Blaine squeezed his hand in appreciation o f the silent understanding that went unsaid. They would deal with everything, just not right now.

Kurt's other hand began to drum on the table. Blaine groaned in exasperation as he blindingly felt around for Kurt's hand to stop their motion, knocking down the tissue holder. The sound that resonated on the table felt like a hammer blow to his temple. He gasped in pain and started to lightly hit his head against the table.

"Whoever. Decided. That. It. Was. A. Good. Idea. To. Drink. Alchohol. Should. Die." Blaine mumbled punctuating each word with a thud.

Kurt couldn't help but laugh. "Don't punish the table."

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"No." Kurt smirked. Blaine looked up at him. "Okay, maybe a little."

Blaine whimpered and brought his head back down on the table to resume pounding it with his head.

"Medium drip coffee? It's supposed to help."

Blaine stopped his assault on the table and slowly looked up to Kurt. "You know my coffee order."

"I did pick up a few things along the way." Kurt replied with a small smile. "So, coffee? Wanna split a cookie?"

Before Blaine could respond. a hand covered Blaine's eyes from behind accompanied with a singsong voice that said, "Guess who Blainebear?"

It was Kurt who answered, "Chandler?"


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all, thank you to all those who reviewed, followed, and added this story to their favorites. ****Secondly, I'm sorry for the delay, writer's block and I was somewhat unhappy with this chapter but it seemed it wasn't about to get any better so here it is.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. :( ****All errors, both grammatically and in the characters, are mine.**

* * *

"_Maybe we're trying, trying too hard."_

* * *

"Kurt! Oh my goodness." Chandler said as he removed his hand from Blaine's face and sat down next to him. "Here is your medium drip coffee." Placing the coffee cup in front of Blaine.

"I didn't order anything."

"I know but from the looks of you. You badly need it. I told you, you shouldn't have downed those 3 other shots."

"Thanks, Eli." said Blaine as he took a sip. He could feel that he would need it to clear his head as fast as possible. Although he wouldn't say 'no' if it was spiked with alcohol. Maybe it would make this encounter a bit less difficult.

"Eli?" Kurt asked his eyes wide with curiosity as he watched their exchange.

"Uhu." Taking a sip from his own coffee as he turned his attention back to Kurt. "My full name is Eldridge Chandler. Kinda lame so I kinda go as Eli or as Chandler. You know Blainebear?"

"Blainebear?"

"Well, it seems appropriate don't you think? He is just the cutest." Chandler replied, running his hand down Blaine's arm. "And you two know each other how?"

Kurt didn't miss the quick but pointed look he gave on their still connected hands. Kurt slowly pulled his underneath Blaine's.

"Highschool." Kurt answered shortly.

Blaine's face visibly fell when Kurt pulled his hand away. It stung when it seemed all that they were to Kurt were highschool acquaintances. He didn't even bother mentioning that they were friends, maybe acquaintances was all what they really were now.

"How do you two know each other?" asked Blaine, mindlessly rotating the coffee cup in his hands. He was thankful he managed to keep his voice even, thankful for the coffee.

"We were textmates for quite some time last year." said Chandler.

"Textmates? Eli?" Blaine looked up puzzled to Kurt for clarification. Kurt was gazing intently at a spot on the table and was unconsciously playing with his hair. It was a habit, Blaine noticed, that he did when he didn't want to talk about something.

"Chandler?" Blaine couldn't help the incredulous tone when it dawned on him . This was just too much. How cruel can fate be that the guy that Blaine accused Kurt was cheating with was the same guy he hooked up with.

"Yeah," Kurt said with defiance, now meeting his gaze, misinterpreting Blaine's tone as accusatory. "And the two of you?" he added with a forced smile.

"Oh, we met on Facebook." Chandler replied. "You should have told me back then that you know this guy. Being with him everyday isn't enough."

"Everyday. Wow."

It was Blaine's turn to find the table suddenly very interesting. The sarcasm underlying with anger in Kurt's response was noticeable but it seemed that Eli didn't catch on. Blaine didn't think he could handle Kurt's reaction once he realized just who exactly Eli was.

"He is so much fun. There is this bar we go to and it is just amazing. We actually went there last night."

"Last night?"

"You should totally come next time, Kurt. You could meet Sebastian."

"Sebastian?" It seemed that one-worded repetitions was all Kurt was capable of.

"You know Sebastian? He and Blaine know how to get it on at the dance floor." Eli said nudging Blaine. "What happened to the two of you. I saw you two leave together."

"Yes, Blaine." said Kurt linking his fingers together and resting his chin on it as if in genuine interest. "What were you doing with the guy who nearly blinded you?"

"He just drove me home." Blaine mumbled refusing to remove his gaze on the table.

"Home? You were at my door this morning." Eli said sceptically.

"Why would you -" The sudden realization hit Kurt like a ton of bricks. Everything fell into place. It made sense, why Eli acted as such around Blaine, why they were together everyday, why Blaine would go to Eli after he walked out, why Blaine's tone was such when he realized that Eli was Chandler.

Kurt couldn't help the foolish part in him that wanted to Blaine to deny it. However, the anguished guilty look on Blaine's face was more than enough to kill that hope. He felt numb. He was surprised, thankful, to find his eyes dry.

"You know what, uhhhmm," Kurt stood up desperate to get away, "this was great but I have to go."

"Stay for a little while longer." Eli said. "Cake. My treat."

"I can't."

"Kurt –" Blaine started, looking up to meet Kurt's.

"I really can't." Kurt said matching his gaze.

Blaine could see the hurt beneath the false bravado and he couldn't help but move his head down so as not to see the wrenching look on Kurt's face again. It doesn't matter though. He knows he would see it everyday in his mind.

Kurt moved towards the door but stopped after a few steps, turning back, "By the way, Eli, the color of that jacket looks terrible on you."

* * *

**I had this crazy-ass idea that the 'C' in Eli C. stood for Chandler. It seemed liked the kind of crap my babies would suffer through. Though it seemed unlikely to happened on the show. I hope this answered the questions from last chapter.**

**I'd love to hear what you think. Hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment to those who are following this story. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to all those who hit this story up, favorited, followed, and left a review. You guys are just lovely. I hope you are enjoying this and that it's not that bad. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except any mistakes in grammar and in the characterization.**

* * *

"_And if I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am."_

* * *

Blaine was now wishing for the throbbing headache he had a while ago. It would have been a welcome sensation in comparison to the numbing ache in his chest. He found himself wanting some of those white powder. At least his head didn't hurt and his heart didn't ache, even if it was only for a short while.

"_You know, it didn't hit me until right now. I came to McKinley for Kurt."_

He has spent nearly every day of the past weeks wishing Kurt would talk to him. But seeing his wish turn to reality at the sight of Kurt in his room at two in the morning was not something he was entirely prepared for, especially when he has taken in a large amount of alcohol.

"_That's it. And now he's gone, and even with Glee club, it just... I feel really, really alone." _

Kurt showing out of nowhere left him blind-sighted. He has just nearly given up hope, then he was there. He zig when Blaine expected him to zag.

"_Sorry. It's just I did all of this for him,"_

Kurt started screaming at him and he couldn't help the anger that crashed through him then. It's not fair. Kurt doesn't get to just show up, nevermind the fact that Blaine desperately wanted him to, after weeks of ignoring him. What right did Kurt have to get mad at him for how he decided to patch himself up.

"_I did all of this for him and now he's not here and so it just... It just feels like none of this matters."_

It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had this huge speech planned out, how he would apologize and grovel for Kurt to just give him a chance to fix the mess they're in, how he would make it up to him everyday for the rest of life, how he would do everything and anything to be forgiven. But instead all they had was a screaming match and whatever you would call what just transpired moments ago.

"Does he know?" Eli asked snapping him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"Look, I'm not even going to pretend to understand what's going on with the two of you." Eli said facing Blaine directly. "Does he know how happy he makes you?"

"I don't—" Blaine started, puzzled that Eli would ask him that.

"Blaine, I have spent nearly everyday with you these past weeks," Eli said, his face gentled when he added, "and I have never seen your eyes shine like when Kurt was here."

Blaine didn't really have time to think about it, but the few moments that he had been around Kurt – granted that aside from that small moment before Eli came to their table, it had been a nightmare – made him feel complete, like some lost part of him has been restored. It's like he didn't even know he was broken, until he was whole again.

"Maybe," Blaine said slowly before adding. "I mean I haven't told him straight out or anything but I suppose he does."

"You should. Tell him that is." Eli said with a small smile of affection. "You're different, better, somehow. I don't know. Or maybe I'm just crazy."

"He doesn't want to talk to me. It's complicated and with you..." Blaine gave a sigh before adding in explanation, "I was with you and everything is just so messed up right now.

"You needed someone, I was there." Eli placed his hand above Blaine's in comfort.

"You shouldn't have been." Blaine said moving his gaze away.

"I hope you can fix it."

"It's not that easy." Blaine replied.

"Nothing ever is." Eli said removing his hand from Blaine's, before adding softly, " But from what I can tell, it's more than worth it."

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**Please tell me what you think! Reviews are much appreciated. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, my second semester started. Also I kept changing this chapter. First it was with Sue but I changed it to Brittany (so I can express my Brittana feels) but again I changed it to Cooper. When I thought I was okay with it already, I changed it again to this. Sorry for the delay. And oh, was the last chapter really that bad? Hardly any feedback and all. Anyway, thanks to all who followed and added this story to their favorites. Usual disclaimer. Enjoy!**

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"_Don't make me close another door. I don't wanna hurt anymore."_

* * *

Things could not possibly get worse. This was unbelievable, the whole situation was beyond ridiculous. How did they end up having coffee with the guy their entire relationship was falling apart for. And for Blaine to just sit there and even admit that he spent everyday with Eli. What if it wasn't just a hook up as he told him in New York. What if it actually meant something more to Blaine. Everything could not be more confusing. When did things between the two of them became this hard? Kurt was fumbling for his keys when a familiar voice rang out the parking lot.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Lady Hummel. Failed at New York already?"

This just got a whole lot worse, clearly the universe hated him. Kurt turned to face that familiar smirking face walking towards him. "What do you want meerkat?"

"Blaine." Sebastian answered without missing a beat. In a patronizing manner he added, "So if you'd kindly talk to him so all of this hung-up-on-you-of-all-people-nonsense can be done and over with."

"Aren't you blunt."

"Pleasantries have never really been a strong suit of mine particularly when it comes to you so I figure why bother." Sebastian said with a shrug and that annoying smirk.

"Didn't we have a truce or something. With you turning over a new leaf or whatever." Kurt said. He doesn't have the strength to do this game with Sebastian. Not when there are more important matters that he needed to deal with.

"Between Warblers and New Directions, yeah. You're not part of New Directions already and I never really liked you."

"The feeling is mutual." Kurt said with the most venomous smile he can muster, before turning to unlock his car. "Now if you'll excuse me, I don't have time for this."

Kurt was surprised when Sebastian placed a firm hand on the doorframe to prevent it from opening and in a firm voice said, "Talk to Blaine."

"Excuse me?" Kurt said taken aback. "Naturally, with your creepy stalking tendencies, you know. But I still don't see how that is any of your business."

"It became my business when I accompany him to whatever bar Eli dragged him to making sure he doesn't drink what he shouldn't or do someone he shouldn't and that he gets home safely and not with scumbags. It became my goddamn business because it wasn't anyone else's." Sebastian didn't raise his voice but with each word it was clear that he was seething.

"Oh. I get it. You want to swoop in, play the hero, and pick up the pieces." Kurt said and couldn't help the empty laugh that escaped out of him. "You want a gold star for your brilliant 'caring' performance to my boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend." Sebastian replied with that infuriating smirk.

"Blaine is my boyfriend." Kurt said in a manner similar to of explaining something to a child.

"Well it seems he's under the impression that you're not which I think has something to do with not speaking for more than an entire month." Sebastian said leaning into Kurt's car, his smirk widening if that it was even more possible.

"We're still together, we haven't broken up." Kurt said but even to his own ears the words sounded pathetic, as if he was just trying to convince himself. He was stunned that Blaine thought they were over. He didn't want to speak to Blaine but that doesn't mean he didn't want to be with him anymore. Or did it? Maybe he shouldn't be that surprised, he did return the Gilmore Girls box he sent unopened.

"Look," Sebastian said, snapping Kurt out of his musings. Kurt was shortly thrown off to see Sebastian's expression without the smirk. "You think I'm just after something physical or whatever with Blaine, because it really isn't fair that that face comes with that body, maybe before but I do care about Blaine. And it's painful seeing him like this."

"And me? He cheated on me. Don't you think this is every bit as hard for me as it is for him."

"Is this a talent of yours? Turning every conversation about yourself." Sebastian said, his smirk returning with ease and with it his haughtiness. "Honestly, I really don't care about you. What he did was wrong, I won't defend it even if I can understand why." Looking Kurt up and down. "I never really saw what Blaine sees in your toothpick arms and gay face to be so into you."

"You don't know what our relationship is about." Kurt quietly said. He couldn't help the sudden sting that came with Sebastian's words. It hurt to be reminded of that insecurity, that Blaine is too good for him.

"You, of course." Sebastian said as if it was the most obvious answer and he continued in what is supposed to be an imitation of Blaine's voice. "What would Kurt want? What would make Kurt happy? What would be most convenient for Kurt? Kurt, Kurt, Kurt."

"That's not true." Kurt snapped.

"Isn't it?" Sebastian seemed pleased that he was getting under Kurt's skin. "Have you ever asked him what he felt leaving behind his friends, changing his entire life, setting aside his own dreams, to be with you? Have you ever asked him how he feels to be constantly reminded of his past in McKinley, to be treated like crap not just by idiots but by your Glee friends as well? Have you ever asked him if he wanted to go to New York with you? Have you asked him what his actual plans after highschool were? Or did you just presume that he'd follow you, just like he followed you to McKinley, and have your dreams be his own?"

Kurt was speechless. Surely they've talked about these things – they talked about growing old together, buying a lighthouse, and even about adopting kids. This must have, should have, come up. Sebastian was just saying these things to piss him off.

His lack of response seemed to be an answer enough to Sebastian. "That's what I thought."

"No, of course- Of course we've- we've talked. We've had-" Kurt said quickly going through his head the conversations he and Blaine had relating to any of Sebastian's accusations. All he could come up with was he telling Blaine how great McKinley is and how great New York will be. "He hasn't said anything about any of that."

"He's Blaine. Blaine Anderson." Sebastian said as if that answered everything. "You spend enough time in boarding schools you eventually learn that almost everyone has family issues. Kinda does a number on self-worth. He probably thinks that whatever he is feeling is unimportant compared to your glamorous life."

"He needs closure, he's still clinging to some invisible hope. Stop trying to make him suffer, you've more than succeeded. I'm starting to hate you for it." Sebastian continued and Kurt couldn't see any indication that he wasn't sincere.

Sebastian was not looking at Kurt anymore. "You have no idea what it's like to watch the brightest star you've seen lose its shine. To watch them lose the best part of them. It's painful and the worst part is that you're not what they need. You feel so useless that all you can do is be there for them." Their eyes met. Kurt was beyond stunned at what he saw in those green eyes. "Talk to him, please."

Sebastian gave a sigh and moved towards the entrance to Lima Bean. In hindsight, it would have been better if Kurt just got into his car and drove off. He already had a lot to process and think about but he couldn't stop himself from calling out.

"Are you in love with him?"

Sebastian stopped in his tracks. For a moment it seemed he would just continue walking, ignoring such question. Kurt already opened his car and was about to get in; when Sebastian looked back and answered, "Let him go if you don't want him, because I do."

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**I love Sebastian. I think he's a great character, so much sass. I know his characterization here is off but oh well. Not everything he says here I believe in.**

**Btw, anyone else just want to give Blaine a huge hug and tell him all the spoilers we know to make him feel better? That HDTY performance was heartbreaking.**

**Reviews make my broken Klaine heart a bit better**.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. School seems determined to not let me touch this. And as last chapter, I kept changing it. I really am sorry. I hope you guys still bother with this. And I apologize in advance, for the poor quality. I already delayed it long enough and it wasn't gonna get better.**

**Thanks you to everyone who reviewed. Shucks, you guys are so kind. A hug to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and followed. I really really appreciate it. All mistakes are mine. Forgive my tenses. Usual disclaimer. Enjoy!**

* * *

_"Half of my heart won't do."_

* * *

The sound of leathered fist connecting with the leather of the bag echoes through the silent locker room.

One. Two. Right. Punch.

"Whose face is that, killer?" Sebastian asks in greeting as he entered the locker room and leaned at the doorframe.

"Mine." Blaine answered shortly, throwing a left hook.

"People have phones for a reason you know. You're supposed to answer it."

"Haven't got it with me. Left it at my house." Blaine says as he moves around the punching bag. "What are you doing here?"

Sebastian slowly walked in and sat on one of the benches. "Well, when you're assaulted in a coffee shop parking lot by Wheels, Asian Girl, and Blonde Stripper demanding that I tell them what basement I've kept you in or they'll - Well, I'm not really clear on their threat, I think it involves a bear – The thing is, I don't like being accused of something I didn't do."

Blaine threw another punch as he glanced at Sebastian.

"Let me play the villain, but at least let me enjoy my crimes. You bound and gagged, the possibilities."

He has always found it best to ignore Sebastian whenever their conversations turned to this kind of direction. So he merely gave a side-glance and threw a right hook followed quickly by a left jab.

"They haven't seen you in two days." Sebastian added, his tone losing all its playfulness.

"Didn't think they'd notice." Blaine muttered as he threw another punch.

"Well, they did and now I'm accused of kidnapping. You think they'd first considered we eloped."

Blaine huffed as he balanced on the balls of his feet before throwing another punch and asking, "How'd you find me?"

"You're not exactly Waldo. And if you know who you're looking for..." Sebastian said trailing of.

"I wasn't up for anyone's company."

"Did you talk to Hummel?" Sebastian asks.

"How'd you know Kurt was here?" Blaine said stopping his punches to look at Sebastian.

Sebastian merely shrugs in response. Blaine returns his attention to the punching bag as he added, "I haven't seen him since the other day. He's probably back in New York already. "

His tone suggested that he didn't want to talk about it and the loud smack that echoed with the force of the punch he threw made Sebastian not push his luck.

Silence enveloped them. Only Blaine's rough breathing and the sound of his punches punctuated the silence. Sebastian seemed content to watch as Blaine released his frustrations.

"Do you ever just want to rewind everything. Go back to the start. When things were easy and still made sense." Blaine said effectively breaking the silence.

"Sentimental." Sebastian quipped.

"Shut up." Blaine said but there was no emotion behind it for it to sting. He stopped his movements and faced Sebastian. "Don't you regret ever doing anything that the guilt is something of a companion everyday?"

"You are aware of who you're talking to right? What haven't I done nightly that doesn't require guilt the next day." Sebastian answered with a smirk.

"You know that's not what I mean." Blaine sighed and turned back to the punching bag. "Forget it."

Sebastian continued to watch Blaine attack the bag. His smirk turning to a small smile. This time, it was Sebastian who broke the silence.

"I guess, you never fully forgive yourself." Sebastian started with a sigh. "But when you look at him and know that he is the only thing that makes life worthwhile, that his happiness is the only thing that matters - you suck it up and let it go." His eyes are fixed on his laced fingers. Lost in the memory of the events of Regionals last year. "Beating yourself over it isn't gonna change the fact that it happened and you thank God, fate, destiny, whatever that you were- are a part of his life."

"Talking from experience?" Blaine asked his brows slightly furrowed, genuinely curious.

"Shut up." Sebastian answered not unkindly, quickly rearranging his features to the familiar smirk as he looked up to Blaine. "You know I don't do the feelings crap."

"It's exhausting. It just feels like the ache will never go away." Blaine said his voice breaking at the last word. He started to remove his gloves to distract himself.

"So you go out every night to forget, drink yourself to sleep to escape the thinking..."

Blaine nodded in agreement but noticeably tensed when Sebastian added, "...and the drugs are for what exactly?"

"How did you-?

Sebastian reached into his coat and pulled out a small plastic bag of white powder. "And oh, I got your phone for you." He added nonchalantly, placing Blaine's phone on top of the plastic bag beside him.

"You went to my house?" Blaine asked annoyed . Did everyone just waltz in his house and look through his stuff? "Trespassing is a crime."

"So is possession." Sebastian replied without missing a beat. His voice softened when he added, "I told you I was looking for you."

"I could sue you for breaking and entering." Blaine said as he started to remove the ribbons wrapped around his hands.

"My dad is a state's attorney." Sebastian stated with fake dismay.

"Save the judgement then. Already had it yelled at me two nights ago." Blaine snapped as he continued to unravel the ribbons. "And you don't expect me to believe that you've never done drugs?"

"Only the natural stuff, not this kind." Sebastian said glancing at the white powder. He continued with a sigh, "Look, I'm not exactly a moral compass. I just- I didn't know things were this bad already. You could have sai-"

"It was only twice." Blaine said cutting him of. His eyes were distant as he added in explanation. "I tried it behind the mall and another at a dance club."

"You're not addicted?" Sebastian asked quietly.

"No." Blaine immediately said, eyes scandalized at the thought, snapping to meet Sebastian's. "At least I don't think so. I just missed feeling something other than... The guy said it made him feel... happy."

"Happy?"

"Yeah. I think I've forgotten what it's like.-"

"You want to be happy." Sebastian stated more than asked, with a slight furrow on his eyebrows.

"Not that I deserve to be. I'm just tired of feeling bad all the-"

"I think I know how." Sebastian said as if Blaine hasn't been talking. "To make you happy. Immediately. Without the drugs, of course." He added when all he got from Blaine was a mixture of suspicion and puzzlement.

"First things first, though." Sebastian said as he stood up, took the plastic beside him and went to the shower area. Blaine heard the running water.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Sebastian said as he reappeared, wiping his hands on a towel he snatched from the corner. "Your friends need to know you're alive before they accuse me of murder as well."

"I'll clean up." Blaine said as he opened his gym locker and took out a towel to wipe his face.

"I like the sweaty look. Kinda sexy." Sebastian commented.

Blaine threw the towel he was holding. Sebastian easily dodged it with a laugh.

"Don't forget your phone." Sebastian said gesturing to where he had placed it. He brought out his own as he headed out. "I don't think I can stand to be within the immediate area as you shower so I'll meet you in your school's sorry excuse for a courtyard."

Blaine shook his head at that and headed for the showers.

"Oh and Blaine," Sebastian said pausing at the doorway.

"Yeah?" Blaine called out in acknowledgement.

"Next time, don't bother with wifebeater, leaves little to the imagination."

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**Soooo... I'm sorry if there's more Sebastian. But I just love him. I'm kinda loving the idea of Seblaine friendship. (Blam was awesomesauce last eppie) The last episode was amazing. Warblers. Blaine+Blazer. Mr. Puss. Nightbird. Perfection.**

**Reviews keep me alive until I see iceskating on my screen.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: A huge hug to those who still bother to read this. And a bigger hug to those who followed and added this to their favorites. And an even bigger hug to those who left their lovely reviews. You are too kind.**

**Mel: I'm with you. Maybe that's why the last 2 chaps were Seblaine even if it was just friendship. The possibilities. Dammit RIB. **

**Sorry for the mistakes, grammatically and character wise. Usual disclaimer! Enjoy!**

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"_How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?"_

* * *

He slammed his bedroom door and headed to his bed. Kurt was exhausted. He was drained both physically, mentally, and emotionally. He hasn't slept since he arrived back home and the recent events just seem to go from bad to worse. He already had a lot to process, to think about. His encounter with Sebastian seems to have complicated everything ten times. That's saying something, considering, things were never simple to begin with.

His foot caught on the rug and he lost his balance. His arms flailed around to prevent himself from falling face flat. He caught himself but his hand hit a box he carelessly placed on the edge of his shelf, cursing as it toppled over and its contents spilled on the floor.

He knelt down and hastily grabbed the fallen items. Kurt instantly froze when his hand wrapped around a familiar red box.

_To always love you. _

It feels like a lifetime ago, like that moment was something from someone else's life. How could they go from that to this.

_To defend you even if I know you're wrong._

He ran his thumb over its cover contemplating on opening it. He had brought all this stuff back from New York. He didn't know why, maybe to give it back to Blaine. Kurt's not really sure.

_To surprise you._

Before they were in this mess, during those nights when he badly misses Blaine, when talking to him would only increase the ache in his chest, he would take the ring out and remember that Christmas. He would hold on to that memory, to the way he felt at that moment. And he would know that they would make it.

___To always pick up your call no matter what I'm doing._

He hesitantly opened it to reveal the Wrigley's bowtie.

___To bake you cookies at least twice a year..._

The cheap plastic caught the light.

_...and t__o kiss you, whenever you want._

For a moment it sparkled as if it was real gem.

_Mostly to make sure you always remember how perfectly imperfect you are._

The ring was a microcosm of their relationship, past and supposedly future. Seeing it, Kurt couldn't stop the sudden burn in his eyes. It seems his due date on denial and not feeling was up; everything was finally catching up on him.

Tears did escape him when they were screaming at each other in Blaine's room but it was more out of frustration than anything.

He hasn't cried about their relationship since that terrible night at the park. He decided that the world would not see him break. He had self-respect and matters such as this were not worth shedding tears. He would never let on how much Blaine has hurt him. Pride has kept him from crying. Everyday since that night, he would wake up and push everything to the back of his mind. Work kept him busy enough that he extended his hours and when he got to their place, he was already too tired to even think. If he didn't deal with it, maybe, just maybe, it could have been all a dream. He hasn't cried again, not until now.

He threw the box in despair and it hit the other side of his room, toppling a figurine. The shattering porcelain made something inside him snap. Fury now accompanied his grief. He was mad. Angry at Blaine. Livid at Eli. Pissed off at Sebastian. Furious at himself. Enraged at the world, at everything.

He stood up and reached for his junior prom picture, and flung it at the wall, the frame shattering. He tore down the photos of the two of them tacked on his wall and ripped them apart. The snow globe with a kitten inside, they got at the mall a thousand years ago, he chucked as hard as he can, the glass breaking against the wall. Books and his other trinkets clattering to the ground. He then went over to where his prom queen crown was perched and tried snapping it into two.

Hands had wrapped around his wrists, pried the crown from his bleeding hands, where its plastic edges had cut his palm. He turned to pound his fists against whoever tried to stop his fury and he met his father's soft chest. He only stopped when he saw his face, when he realized it was Burt who took the blows from his fists and held fast to his arms.

The crown had clattered to the ground and he feels drained. Kurt collapses against his father and Burt brought them both to their knees, wrapping his arms around his little boy. Kurt buries his face in Burt's shoulder and he cries because everything hurts so much. Burt held him, he had listened to him cry, the fury gone, leaving on desperate sadness in its wake.

"You'll get through this." Burt whispered against Kurt's hair. He calmly sat with Kurt, whispering reassurances. "Everything will be alright."

Kurt had sobbed until his throat was raw and his head throbbed and his voice was ruined. When Kurt had finally found the will to speak, it was nothing more than a whisper. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"Life rarely happens the way you intend it to, buddy." Burt said his hand running up and down Kurt's back in comfort.

"It was just a year. How could he? I trusted him. He was the one who convinced me to leave. I can't believe I'm that stupid."

"You're not stupid."

"He told me to leave." Kurt said his voice breaking as he voiced out his greatest fear, "What if we're not meant to be together forever. What if he doesn't need- want me? What if he doesn't love me anymore?

"That boy loves you. Anyone with a pulse can see that." Burt said firmly.

"Then why?" Kurt asked looking up to meet his father's eyes.

"People make mistakes, Kurt. Some worse than others."

"What if he doesn't love me anymore?" Kurt asked again. His eyes conveying all the hurt and sadness he felt.

Burt sighed, he hated to see his baby boy like this. He wished he had all the answers, that he could fix this for him but he knows this is something between Kurt and Blaine. "Do you still love him?"

"More than anything." Kurt answered immediately before adding with a strained chuckle, "And it sucks."

Burt stroked Kurt's hair and whispered, "If he doesn't love you then he is a bigger fool than he already is."

"Thanks, Dad. I love you." Kurt whispers against Burt's chest, squeezing his eyes shut and Burt just strokes his hair. Kurt's head hurts and his heart aches and he never wanted or expected to be in a situation like this.

"I love you too, Kurt." His father just holds him until Kurt feels that he can move again without him shattering to pieces.

**KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB**

It has been two days since Kurt had seen Blaine. Two days since his breakdown. Two days of locking himself up in his old room with his thoughts and tears. Two days with re-watching The Notebook for god knows how many times.

Burt had checked up on him three times a day and would coax a smile out of him. Kurt was grateful for his dad's actions, he has missed him so much. He was supposed to be heading back to New York but he couldn't find it in him. Thank god, Isabelle was so understanding about it and gave him a couple more days with the promise the he tell her everything that has transpired.

Kurt needs to talk to Blaine, but he didn't know how. He didn't want a replay of their recent encounter. Besides, did Blaine even want to talk to him anymore. What if it was better if he just went back to New York. What if he made things worse by going back here. Blaine was his bestfriend though; he would never forgive himself if he didn't try to salvage whatever was left.

Kurt knew that he needed to do something, anything. He couldn't just wallow in his thoughts and drown his sorrows in cookie dough. He was waiting for something, he just didn't know what. A sign, an epiphany, a moment of pure and absolute clarity that would show him how to properly proceed, anything really.

All he knows for sure is that he couldn't just spend his time wishfully thinking on what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. Besides, he has never been one to sit back and let it all unfold, he took control of his life.

He was on his daily replay of The Notebook watching the reunion kiss for the 4th time that day when his phone buzzed with maybe the sign he was waiting for.

_McKinley grounds. 20 mins. Be there. –SS_

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**Thank you for reading! I wanted to do this since I don't think we really got a reaction out of Kurt. And omfg, THE phone call. Blaine's smile which I have seriously missed. I can't wait for Christmas.**

**Father of the Year Award goes to Burt Hummel. :3 I love him.**

**Oh, does anyone else thing that the Warblers were amazeballs during Sectionals? They have seriously improved on those moves. Hunter knows what he's doing. And idk, I would be beyond stunned/angry if ND still wins Sectionals. **

**Reviews keep Marley from fainting but who are we kidding. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know, I know I'm a terrible person. Sorry this took forever. It's just school then the holidays. I'm really really sorry.**

**A huge thanks to everyone who read, followed, reviewed, and added this story to their favorites. Seriously, you guys are amazing. Huge hug!**

**Sorry for any mistakes, grammatical and character-wise. Usual disclaimer! Enjoy!**

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"_Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me."_

* * *

The crisp autumn chill seeped through the coat Kurt was wearing and he instinctively pulled it closer looking around the once familiar outside of McKinley. He spots the tall figure easily enough and takes a deep breath before heading towards his direction.

"Got your text." Kurt calls out as Sebastian turns around to face him. "What do you want?" A flash of remembrance to their conversation two days ago briefly crosses Kurt's mind and he couldn't help the nervousness he felt at the thought before it instantly vanishes at the sight of relief on Sebastian's face.

"Didn't think you'd actually show." Sebastian said. "He's waiting for you. Technically for me but you know..."

"Blaine?"

"No. Me." Sebastian deadpans before rolling his eyes and adding, "Of course, Blaine. I told you to talk to him."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at that.

Sebastian rolls his eyes in exasperation. " Look, the two of you need to talk. And it seems if it's just up to the two of you that's never going to happen this century."

They both stared each other down. Kurt gauging how sincere Sebastian is and what his motives are. This was the nicest Sebastian has ever been. No name calling, no judgemental looks, and no annoying smirk. He was allowed to be cautious. Sebastian must have sensed Kurt's doubts since he raised his arms in mock surrender, "No strings attached."

Kurt momentarily narrowed his eyes before saying with a small smile of gratitude, "Thank you." He would have never believed that in a million years that Sebastian Smythe would be what his relationship with Blaine needed.

"It's not entirely selfless." Sebastian shrugs, passing off nonchalance.

"Why exactly are you doing this?" Kurt asks,not completely being able to keep his suspicion suppressed. This is Sebastian Smythe after all, the punch line is in there somewhere.

Sebastian merely shrugs again looking to the side before simply answering, "I dunno."

Kurt responds with a raised eyebrow and tilting his head in skepticism.

"Look we all know I'm an ass." Sebastian starts prompted by Kurt's expression. "But I am trying. I can at least start making up for all the crap I've done."

"We all know that's bullshit." Kurt said without missing a beat.

Sebastian gives a dry laugh at that before he added in a somewhat resigned tone. "I want him happy, in whatever way that's gonna happen. And if you're that... He deserves it."

"Does he know? Did you... tell... or do you plan too?" Kurt hesitantly asks. He's not sure if he was crossing some sort of line here and if it would break the unspoken truce that came with the knowledge of caring for the same person.

"Would it matter if I did?" Sebastian shifts uncomfortably looking everywhere that is not Kurt.

"You don't know that." Kurt said not unkindly.

"Actually I do." Sebastian says with a hint of bitterness. "That's the thing. He's convinced that you're it for him. I can't compete with that."

"If he knew... He could..." Kurt says choosing his words carefully.

"Love me back?" Sebastian supplies with an empty laugh. "Not the way he loves you. He can never love me the way he loves you."

Kurt doesn't know how to respond to that. He wants it to be true, to be so sure that Blaine does still love him.

"When he told me he was with someone," Kurt starts slowly watching Sebastian from the corner of his eye. "The first person I thought of was you."

Sebastian looks up at that, "I'm flattered?"

"I'm sorry. It made sense." Kurt shrugs. He knows he shouldn't be this open to Sebastian but he couldn't stop himself. "I thought you'd finally won. You'd finally gotten him." Kurt gives a dry laugh. "He wouldn't even tell me who it was. Found out two days ago that it was Chandl- Eli."

Sebastian stares at him for more than a moment, head tilted to the right, before saying with a chuckle, "Being nice sucks."

Kurt responds with a breathy laugh, "Thank you... for this. And for taking care of him."

"You should go. I told him to wait at the courtyard, the one with the steps."

Kurt nods and moves past him towards McKinley.

"Hey, Hummel." Sebastian calls out.

"Yeah?" Kurt looks back.

"I still don't like you." Sebastian says, signature smirk in place.

"Me too." Kurt answers with a smirk of his own. He nods once more and braces himself for what was to come.

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**Thank you for still putting up with this. I'm sorry to those who aren't a huge fan of Sebastian but i'mseriouslyinlovewithhim. **

**Yaaaaayyy! Klaine finally gets to talk(next chapter). I'm disappointed that they haven't 'talked' in canon yet. Sure, they're on speaking terms but come on when are they going to have that conversation. I was so expecting that during the Christmas eppie but oh well, we did get Blaine's heart-eyes. :3**

**Reviews are an ideal Holiday present to some stranger online. Happy Holidays! **


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